Imagine your life is a construction project. On the back of a napkin, you sketch a vision of how beautiful your life can be.
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At the end of life what matters is not what we bought, but what we built; not our competence, but our character; not our success, but our significance; not our fame, but our family.
Designing the End
Imagine your life is a construction project. On the back of a napkin, you sketch a vision of how beautiful your life can be. You hire an architect who maps the length, width, and depth of your days. Prescribed are materials to withstand the push and pull of the unexpected. And together, with your optimism and the architect’s expertise, a blueprint is drawn.
What you may not realize is this: the architect has actually just created your obituary because he created what you want things to look like in the end.
What If We Built Our Lives This Way?
What if we wrote out everything we wanted loved ones to remember about us as we lay dying and then used our living days to fulfill those wishes? Arguably, the greatest family, faith, and financial plan can be discovered when we start our lives with the end already scripted.
A preemptive obituary requires unique levels of honesty. We must dive deep into our natural gifting, leaning into our emotional, intellectual, and spiritual postures. We must be wise with our time and relationships, viewing each moment as either honoring or mocking our written commitment. An obituary sobers the mind, aligning our dreams with our capacity.
Imagine repeating this exercise for your spouse and children and creating a collective obituary for the entire family unit. What a powerful internal compass. What a force for purpose, knowing that a statement identifying true north guides our every decision.
We can build a better family by using the strategies of builders. We can begin with the end.
Here’s how my family and I approached this exercise:
- How would you start your obituary?
- What do you want it to say?
- Write out your birth date, leaving the end date open
- Start with “Here lies,” and then write out 6-8 words that you want to hear about yourself (dependable, focused on family, generous, etc.)
- At least once a year, refer back to this document and ask yourself: Are my current decisions fulfilling this vision?
Once you have designed your end, it is time to rearrange your beginning, and your Personal Mission Statement is a great place to start.
Personal Mission Statement
You are special, and your gifts are special. Has anyone told you that? You possess non-transferrable, internal assets that can only be activated by your perspective and a commitment to sharing them with the world.
Gifts placed in you cannot and will never be duplicated. Your skill may be found in the analytical nature of your thinking, empathy for others, or an ability to remain calm in turbulent situations. Athletics, coaching adults, or teaching the youth, whatever it is, your family and the world at large suffer when you allow your gifts to remain dormant.
As for me, my personal mission statement is “I live to create to give.” My gifts are creating and giving. My wife Ashley has the gift of organization and caring. Her personal mission statement is, “I am a wife, a mother, and a generational family builder.” There is something special about committing to paper what we carry inside. It becomes real.
Have you listed your talents? Have you matched these gifts with career paths and pursuits that harmonize with your natural gifts? If not, the first step can be to complete a gifting test. Take inventory of your talents, then commit to giving away all heaven has given to you. Let’s write your personal mission statement.
